land softly

I am sitting here watching the newest episode of OC Housewives...and these women make me sick honestly. That, I suppose, is beside the point.
I have the hardest time when people betray my trust. I really have a harder time hating people, and hate is a strong word for me. For the first time in my life though I truly hate someone...my roommate Tiff. I think my feelings for her are so nasty because I was betrayed so immensly that I can not believe that I was so blind for a whole year. Becoming so close to someone, so close that I was suppose to be a maid of honor in her wedding, to realizing what a terrible person she became is hard for me to deal with. I'm not one to shy my feelings, well for the most part...but by god if I told this girl how I felt I would like to think she would cry for days..but I dont think she cares because she is that heartless of a person. To find out some of the cruel things she said to me really hurts and have this harsh feeling that I have is difficult to deal with. Tonight I have said the most words to her in the past four months, and I am proud I did not flat out punch her in the face. However, I refuse to let our friendship mend. As Lauren would say "I would love to forgive..but I'd also love to forget you" ...what can I say, the line fits perfectly.
Things are crazy right now. I have so many many many many mixed feelings right now about so many different things. From relationships to school and so on. I think I just need a break from everyone and everything...maybe I will just turn my phone off for an entire weekend and pretend I do not exist and totaly emerge myself in some self help that only I know will work. Sounds like a plan to me.
Now I must go read some Olidah Equiano and figure out if he was a black slave or an English Methodist writer...wow that sounds like fun.